This poem can be sung if you know the song “Big Bad John” by “Jimmy Dean

Dumb Don

Dumb Don

Early every morning he texts out his lies

Stands five foot eleven and weighs 245

Dementia has set in and he’s lost his grip

He and his billionaire friends are joined at the hip to “Dumb Don”

Big Dumb Don

(Dumb Don)

He used to call New York his home

They kicked him out and he was forced to roam

Seems like this whole state had it with this guy

They were tired of his corruption and they waved bye bye to “Dumb Don”

His first term as President was the worst anyone had seen

As for the second one, it has become totally obscene

Too little too late for America to understand

This man fancies himself a Dictator of this land, “Dumb Don”

Big Dumb Don

(Dumb Don)

United States and Canada were both doing fine

Trump took over his nation and now things don’t align

Decades of harmony we had in the past

Since he issued his tariffs it is now fading fast thanks to “Dumb Don”

“Trump” and his “Republicans” are putting “Americans” through hell

As for us “Canadians” we are doing well

The fiasco in “America” is now well known

Because of your botched leadership you will have to face it alone because of “Dumb Don”

“Big Dumb Don”

Dumb Don

“Trump’s” family and his “billionaire” friends are getting richer and still can’t get enough

The future of “America” is looking pretty tough

The “free trade agreement” with “Canada” couldn’t be saved

“Trump” wanted too much and we gave him a one fingered wave, thanks to “Dumb Don”

He tried to pressure us but we didn’t back down

We didn’t give in to this orange coloured clown

Trying to pressure our negotiations was the end of the line

It only brought us “Canadians” closer and we are all doing fine, thanks to Dumb Don

Big Dumb Don

(Dumb Don)

Our nation has come together and we are proud of it

We now have to retaliate with “tariffs” to “America” and it will hurt a bit

Decades of friendship destroyed, I don’t understand

Just because “America” refuses to rein in this corrupt man

Big Dumb Don

(Dumb Don)

(Dumb Don)

Big Dumb Don

Just exactly how are you feeling about our neighbours to the south?

We have their “Ambassador” now shooting off his mouth

“Peter Hoekstra” is the man who “Trump” handpicked for this position

Seems like he and “Donald” share the same miserable disposition

This new “Ambassador” to “Canada” is made from the same mold

There is a lot of backlash on the latest lie he has told

“Canada paying to construct the “Gordie Howe International Bridge” is a myth” is his quote

Seems like the same tactics that his “President” likes to promote

He did acknowledge “Canada” loaned seven billion dollars for the bridge to be constructed

Then continued “gaslighting” as he was probably instructed

Thus exposing himself as being a complete asshole

In actuality the bridge will be financed by people who pay their tolls

It was in “2012” when this agreement was put in place

“Hoekstra” can say what he wants, but this isn’t the case

With only one bridge you are in for a rough ride

The traffic is highly  congested on either side

“Canada” will make money on tolls on cars arriving here

Once the money is recouped they will split the profits from there

“Hoekstra” was a congressman for “Michigan” in his previous position

Makes you wonder why he is in opposition?

This is where “Trump” rears his ugly head

Saying the “U.S.” should own half of this bridge instead

“We should be fully compensated for what we have given Canada” is what he decreed

He has blocked the opening and who knows how we will proceed?

When you look behind the scenes things become clear

“Trump” and his lawlessness begins to appear

“Matthew Moroun” made a million dollar donation to “Trump’s” campaign

“Billionaires” protecting “Billionaires” once again

His family has operated the “Ambassador Bridge” for decades and has seen the writing on the wall

So he just paid off “Trump” and gave him a call

“Canada” will not give in to a “President” that is so corrupt

We will honour “Gordie Howe” and negotiate with our “Elbows Up”

We were riding on the highway just the other day

Stuck behind a convoy of trucks on the way

They slowed down the traffic but we weren’t held up all that long

With the caution signs and flashing lights my wife starting singing that song

“Wide wide load” she sang as we continued on our route

I then asked her if she knew what this song is actually about?

Seems like those were the only words she knew

I played the song from my phone, it seemed like the right thing to do

The only reason I know the words to this song is because my daughters owned that cd

The fact that this band is from “Canada” was news to me!

The song starts out talking about a girl’s backside and continues from there

The lyrics are available on the internet for anyone to share

Today we were listening to some “oldies” on the stereo

There was another song I heard that most people would know

“Fat Bottomed Girls” was the song that “Freddie Mercury” and “Queen” were belting out

Most people have heard this song, I certainly have no doubts

These are just two songs that were referring to this particular part of the anatomy

I decided to do my due diligence to see how many more there could possibly be

I found a “Booty” playlist with 88 songs

If you know any songs I mention, feel free to sing along

“Shake Your Bonn Bonn” by “Ricky Martin” is the first one I recognize

If I remember it right, there is no reference to size

“Tush” by “ZZ Top” was recorded over fifty years ago

Another oldie was “Brick House” by the “Commodores” that us older folk will know

“Baby Got Back” by “Sir-Mix -a-Lot” was at fifteenth place

“My Humps” by “The Black Eyed Peas” is number seven and once again it’s size in this case

“Conway Twitty” and “Trace Adkins” have songs that reached the top ten

Country music is represented time and time again

I’ll finish off this poem by mentioning the top three

These are all well know songs, agree or disagree?

“(Shake, Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty” by “KC & Sunshine Band” finished in third place

This is from 1976 and represents disco music in this case

“All About That Bass” by “Meghan Trainor” comes in second overall

This song was released in 2014 and is a tune easy to recall

Then we come to the final song that led the way

This was the song that inspired me to write this poem today

“Fat Bottomed Girls” by “Queen” was second to none

Those are the results and now my poem is done

To most of you this topic might seem dumb

After sitting down writing this poem, my own “booty” is a little numb

The group “Freedom 250” has planned the “The Great American State Fair”

Billed as the greatest event to be seen anywhere

This  coming Sunday “UFC Freedom 250” is scheduled, do you know why?

I mean “America” celebrates “Independence Day” on the fourth of July

What is the reason for these fights? most people would say

Is it a coincidence that it falls on “Trump’s” 80th birthday?

Seems that things aren’t going according to plan

Under the circumstances he is doing the best that he can

The music is open to anyone who wants to be part of the crowd

While the fights are exclusive and only five thousand people are allowed

On the south side of the White House is the location of this “UFC” event

Proudly endorsed by the current US President

General admission tickets were not allowed

In fact “Donald Trump” handpicked his own crowd

VIP packages reportedly costing as high as 1.5 million a pop

Just he and his friends, you know “the cream of the crop”

Seven bouts are scheduled on this special night

The last one being a lightweight title fight

The stage they built for this occasion is a total eyesore

It blocks the view of the White House and so much more

With little time left both of these events are up in the air

Six of the nine concert performers said they won’t be there

Lawsuits are pending trying to stop the fights

Others saying to cancel it due to the bugs and the lights

“The departing musicians are overpaid and boring” is what “Trump” has said

He has cancelled the concerts and plans to have a “MAGA” rally instead

In the coming days it will all come to it’s conclusion

Will “Donald’s” dream come true or be another one of his illusions?

This will be all over the news in the coming week

The only topic he’ll discuss when he chooses to speak

“Deflection” is always the con game for this man

Once again there will be no mention of “Jeffrey Epstein” or the war in “Iran”

The weather wasn’t all that great today

There have only been a few nice days in this month of May

I took advantage of the last sunny one that came along

Sat out on my front porch listening to the birds singing their songs

Early in the morning they are the only sound you hear

This is well before the local traffic does appear

There is quite a variety each with their own distinctive call

I am not picking any favourite, I truly love them all

When I park myself in my chair it allows me to take in the view

Looked in my front yard and there was so many things to do

As far as my front lawn goes, it’s time is coming soon

In just one week we will be officially into June

Our dandelions are on full display ready for the bees

With each passing day more leaves are coming out in the trees

Because of the long winter my grass isn’t all that tall

When I do take out the lawn mower I’m not worried it will stall

Meanwhile a lot of our neighbours yards are really looking nice

They have already mowed their lawns, some have done it twice

The flower garden is the first job that I chosen to tackle first

I was lazy last summer and it’s now gone from bad to worst

I dug up every inch of it in hopes of getting rid of every weed

Only time will tell if I am successful in this deed

The problem now is that I have a lot of empty space

There are so many flowers that I now have to  replace

What colours do I want? Full or partial shade?

If I figure all this out, I will have it made

I went to one place and the selection was few and far between

Luckily there are a lot more nurseries in town for us to see

Digging up all that garden I thought would be the longest chore

The time to replace these plants is taking a whole lot more

Going through all of this could make someone go insane

This summer this is my priority, I’m not going through this again!

The NHL playoffs are in full swing

What are the chances of a “Canadian” team getting the Stanley Cup ring?

This is what our nation is looking for to show our “Canadian” pride

Will we achieve it or once again be denied?

There is just one more game left in the second round

If you look at the schedule there is only one team to be found

This was a rather dismal year for us we can all agree

The total number of representatives only totaled three!

The “Oilers”, “Canadiens” and “Senators” were the only teams to advance

The “Leafs”, “Jets”, “Canucks”  and “Flames” never made it to the dance

“Ottawa” faced “Carolina” and never won a game

The “Oilers” lost in six games to the “Ducks”, it really is a shame!

“Montreal” defeated “Tampa Bay” in seven to stay in the chase

The “Buffalo Sabres” would be the next team they would have to face

The “Habs” were up three games to two when they met on Saturday night

It was looking pretty promising but things didn’t turn out alright

“Buffalo” would take a one goal lead on their first shot on net

“Montreal” would do the same but they weren’t done yet

Their next two shots following would also hit the twine

This would give them a three to one lead and things were looking fine

As fate would have it, it was never meant to be

The “Sabres” just took over and won the game eight to three

This was quite a beating they took in front of their “Montreal” crowd

After the first three shots, “Buffalo” changed their goalie and not another goal was allowed

The seventh game is in “Buffalo” and they will have to do their best

There will be millions of us “Canadians” watching them in this epic quest

Cheering for “Montreal” to keep all our hopes alive

Will they get knocked out or will they survive?

If they accomplish this, they will be in the final four

This is just the midway point, they have to win eight more

This will be their fourteenth game, more than any other team

Here’s hoping they come out on top and continue our nation’s dream

“Trump” claims that this shooter was out to get me

Another failed assassination attempt that now totals three

Two people have been killed in one episode before

How much longer do we wait until we reach number four?

It’s sad two men have lost their lives in the pursuit of this man

“Trump” is just coping, doing the best that he can

If someone nails him it will be the end of his career

All he has to show for it is one bloody ear

He wore that bandage for two weeks after that tragic event

His “MAGA” followers also wore them wherever they went

After fourteen days he removed the bandages and his ear was revealed

People are still amazed on how well it had healed

There was no scar, scab or even a bruise

Once again he was the top story in the news

To think of all that blood that flowed when that bullet hit!

Yet there is no sign of an injury, not one single bit!

Two months later a man was found on his golf course carrying a gun

The “secret service” apprehended this man and no harm was done

There was another attempt on his life in “Washington D.C.”

It happened this past Saturday which makes number three

There was no bloodshed like the time before

“Trump” says he was the target even though the shooter didn’t get past the door

The “Republicans” are now thanking “God” that “Donny” is still alive

There have been stories circulating that were seen joking and giving each other “high fives”

So let’s summarize all these events if we can

There have been three failed attempts to take out this man

A bullet to the ear is the only “injury” he sustained

We have to take into account that his suit was bloodstained

I don’t believe for a moment, I won’t swallow that pill

The only thing that “Trump” has paid for is his dry cleaning bill

Many people think these stunts were staged and I tend to agree

Just how lucky could this man possibly be?

The “Epstein” cover up is something everyone wants to know

Trump’s popularity has now reached an all time low!

The hatred for this man has now become universal

I’m wondering does he get killed in the dress rehearsal?

Didn’t get out for my walk on Tuesday morning

The weather office issued a heavy rainfall warning

Couldn’t get out anytime  soon

Decided I would postpone it until the afternoon

Went to the mall for coffee with my brothers for an hour or two

Headed off to the grocery store when we were through

The next stop was the “Independent” parking lot

That’s when we realized just how much rain we got

One area of their property was flooded from the downpour

In some parts it looked like there could be two feet or more

Luckily there was a way out and we were able to proceed

That was quite an eye opener for all of us indeed!

This wasn’t the  only place that was besieged by the rain

We had to take detours time and time again

It took us a little longer to reach our final destination

As for taking the dog for his walk, I had some hesitation

The sun had come out and it was now bright and clear

I put the dog on his leash and finally got myself in gear

Was now on our trail but much later in the day

Not sure of what I could possibly see along the way

There were whitecaps of water on “Chippewa” creek

With all of the rain it must have reached its peak

Had to walk the overpass instead of the path below

The tunnel was flooded with water and it was the only way to go

The sewage plant was flooded and detours were put in place

Because I was a pedestrian it didn’t affect me in this case

I wasn’t hindered again until I got closer to my home

Due to the creek flooding there were areas I couldn’t roam

I went down blocks north, south, east and west

Taking pictures and videos all along my quest

I got to “Fisher Street Park” and the water was deepest there

It was totally underwater, no dry land anywhere

I was now just a few blocks from home and now headed on my way

The park I described looked much better the next day

I’ve lived here all my life and have never seen so much rain

With all the damage it  produced, hopefully we will never see it again!

Last week my brothers and I were trying to remember a character “Raymond Massey” played on tv

The name “Dr. Zorba” was the first thought that came to me

That was on a show called “Ben Casey” from the 60’s you might know

Turns out he played “Dr. Gillespie on the “Dr. Kildare” show

Back then they were the only 2 medical shows that were on the air

They certainly gained a lot of popularity from there

We have a lot of hospital dramas and comedies today

Just thought I would mention some that you might have heard along the way

“Dr. Marcus Welby” and “Dr. Steven Kiley” shared a practice on “Marcus Welby M.D”.

“Dr. Joe Ganon” was on “Medical Center” at the same time on tv

“Hawkeye” Pierce and “Trapper John” were two characters on the hit “M.A.S.H.”

This was based on the movie that was also a big smash

It was a comedy but it also had a serious core

It was about a “Mobile Army Surgical Hospital” during the “Korean” war

Their final episode set a record for most viewers when it went off the air

Their numbers were bigger than the “Superbowl” just to compare

“Jane Seymour” played “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” set in the 1860’s that had a five year run

That was back in 1993 when it first begun

“St Elsewhere” was another series that many actors had a part

That was where “Denzel Washington” got his start

A teenage genius surgeon was the role on “Doogie Howser M.D.”

“Chicago Hope” was another one that was popular on tv

“E.R.” featured “Noah Wylie” and “George Clooney” in their cast

These are just a few examples of medical shows from the past

In 2001 “Scrubs” starts the 21st century and ran for 10 years

“House” would be the next one that would appear

“The Good Doctor” is another series that got in the game

Then we get to the show that belongs in the “hall of fame”

There’s a series that started back in 2005

This remains on the air and is still alive

This show is called “Grey’s Anatomy” and is still doing great

If you want to binge it, the number of episodes now totals 468

These are just some examples of medical shows that have been on the air

There are some I have missed and I am well aware

I haven’t looked on anything on “Netflix” or “Prime”

I have stuck to the major networks and it hasn’t cost me a dime!

We are spoiled today when we turn on our tv

There are so many options and shows for us to see

The picture is crystal clear and high definition is now the trend

That’s not the way it was years ago my friend!

Back then television came in only two colours and that was black and white

Each station signed off between 1:00 and 2:00 am every single night

Then you would see a test pattern on full display

Then four or five hours later it would start another day

This was the cycle that was followed by every tv station

There wasn’t anything to be viewed across our entire nation

The broadcast towers sent out radio waves through the air

These in turn were available for everyone to share

The only way to capture them was dependent on the aerial attached to your tv

The better the setup, the clearer your picture would be

Most of these were screwed to your rooftop and  proudly on display

It is possible to see some remnants of them still to this day

Those were the origins and we certainly have come a long way

From black and white to colour, then high definition and now 4K

We don’t have to sit in front of the set with remote in hand

Now we can go  about our business and watch programs on demand

They say high speed streaming is the best way to go

This offers more flexibility to watch any show

Netflix was one of the first services out there

Your password was available for everyone to share

Today we realize this no longer is the case

The game has been changed and new rules have been put in place

You sign up for these services and each one of them comes at a cost

Even if you don’t watch one of their programs, your money will be lost

Subscriptions are automatically renewed if you don’t cancel out

That’s how these companies work, that’s what it’s all about

When networks originated, their  sponsors paid for every tv event

We were able to watch all of their programming and it didn’t cost us a cent!