Poem 193: Boring Sport

Last week I mentioned how surprised I was by the action at the soccer games

Okay, I should be saying “football” as that’s it’s proper name

There are so many team sports around the world that are played

For the most part, the participants in these leagues are all highly paid

Each of these games are broken up in sections so they can have a break

Some are very exciting while others are hard to stay awake

Most of these sports have a time limit as we are all aware

Some you have attended and wondered why you were there

The ones being clocked are very active and every member has a role

They all work together as a team to achieve their goal

Hockey is the only sport where substitutions are made on the fly

Football and basketball stop the clock when they have to replace a guy

So the action is mostly continuous and is exciting to view

Then we have “America’s Favourite Pastime” “baseball” which is exactly what they do

This sport eats up time and can drag out for hours

Plan to be there all day if there is a chance of showers

They have this sport divided into innings that total nine

The pitcher throws the ball to the catcher after he gives him a sign

Then once they are both ready, the batter then will step out of the box

Brushes sand over his batting gloves and still finds time to adjust his jock

So you are sitting in the stands as all of this is transpiring

This happens inning after inning which becomes a little tiring

Most of the time we are watching these two athletes playing catch

This sport is so boring that in the seventh inning, spectators all require a stretch

One umpire behind the plate to decipher if a pitch is a strike or a ball

Others on the three bases in case they have to make a call

Nine players on the field on the ready in case someone gets a hit

Hoping that they are able to retrieve this ball with their mitt

If the pitcher tosses four bad throws the batter is awarded with a walk

Then proceeds down to the first baseman where they then meet and talk

The pitcher seems to stall even more when there is a man on base

Concentrating more on the runner than the batter he has to face

This means more time is wasted as these head games are being played

As a result with this so called strategy, this game gets more delayed

The catcher will then go to the mound because he has something to say

Then the pitcher will throw to the first baseman at times to aid in a double play

This is to keep the runner from taking too big a lead and keeping him close

Then he pitches to his catcher in between all these extra throws

These are just a couple of examples, they don’t want them to score

If the teams are tied after the nine innings they have to play some more

The game isn’t over until one team has won

This could be over four hours since this game first begun

You notice at these events that the fans all seem to have a beer

This is perhaps the way this league continues year to year

My friends and I have gone to these games and couldn’t make it through

The fans all around us were all holding a brew

The athletes are earning big contracts in their chosen profession

The owners are making millions from these beer concessions

Then they have the money for every type of food they choose to cater

With every minute that is wasted the profit margin is getting greater

The more the game drags out, the more money they will make

I wish they would finally quicken up this sport so I can stay awake