My wife and I were spending another quiet night alone
When the silence was interrupted by the ringing of my phone
It was our mobile phone company that was on the other end of the line
Hello, yes it’s me and we are both feeling fine
Then she continued on her worn out rehearsed spiel
For some reason on this evening, it garnered some appeal
I always had a steadfast no to any upgrade in the past
Somehow for some unknown reason I gave into it at last
The mobiles that we have are both so out of date
We were promised the latest model at a better rate
I thought I could use more data for my daily walk
The last thing I need it for is to stop and talk
Lately I’ve been using a radio when I walk around
Using the headphones doesn’t kick off the speaker’s sound
So when I roam the city listening to the deejay’s song
Whoever I am close to is able to sing along
Now I am carrying a cell phone and this radio from place to place
With one in each pocket, it’s doesn’t leave me a whole lot of space
I can’t hear my phone ring when someone wants to keep in touch
Even though the phone’s on vibrate, I seldom feel it much
So I figured with this new fangled item, it could do everything I need
I told her just to sign us up and now I could succeed
Three days later they delivered them to our front door
When we finally unpacked them, it turned out to be quite a chore
The woman promised us that the sim cards would be installed and ready to go
They were both nowhere to be found, so I called to let them know
They insisted that I can just go to their store and pick them up instead
I didn’t appreciate the tone he used when he told me what he said
I told him I would be visiting his kiosk and dropping the phones off there
I told him we were promised sim cards but he just didn’t seem to care
So I packaged up the phones and headed to our local mall
When I answered all my Covid questions I was told to make a call
I would have to make an appointment in order to have my say
So I left there more steamed and scheduled one for the next day
In the meantime I calculated with precision how much data I would use
Signed up with another provider after all of that abuse
It wasn’t long before the new package made it here
I’ve been listening to the new phone and the music is crystal clear
Now I can enjoy it and nobody else can hear
No sweat about the data, there’s nothing now to fear
Each day I find new things on this gadget that I missed the day before
There are so many extras, I couldn’t ask for more
I was using my device and couldn’t believe what I seen
There was an icon of a radio buried on the second screen
It lets me tune into the stations that I enjoy everyday
It doesn’t require one byte of data and is free for me to play
The plan that I am locked into I won’t need that much at all
This poem is now finished, I have to make a call
The Black Sheep Poet 